sunshine =)

why i put the tittle SUNSHINE?? sunshine.. shine bright like a diamond.. LOL.. gituh.. mcm lagu rihanna sudah.. after what had happened last year, im glad im still able to put a bright smile on my face. pada yang dah tahu, tahulah. pada yang tak tahu, ok mari kita share cerita sikit. 

last year, me&hubs sgt2 happy when we heard the news and seeing our baby for the first time. waaah, tak sangka i was 10 weeks pregnant. even our baby is still small but we can see him moving around so active. i didnt know i was pregnant until hubs drag me to see the doctor. ehehe.. patutla gastritis menyerang dengan tiba2 sampai tak dapat nak puasa. yes masa tu bulan puasa and i was busy, super busy with my final exam. alhamdulillah everything went on smoothly even i have to deal with the pain while sitting in the exam hall. 

memang happy bila dpt taw we are expecting. but kuasa Allah, who can stop it?? everything that we have in this world, semua pinjaman dari Allah. on my 17th weeks of my gestation, my baby had left his mom&dad to be with his creator, Allah the Al Mighty. i was taken aback when the doctor informed me that she cant see the baby`s heartbeat. so she suggest me to go to another doctor in case she made a mistake. ok, hubs took me to another doctor and was given a referral letter to go to GH and see the specialist as she`s the only one who can confirmed the news. the whole family was praying for a miracle. i hope our baby can move around, that he was just sleeping before this. i did cry but silently. only tears running down my cheek, no words coming out. the day that we`ve waiting for finally arrived. kena pegi seorang diri jumpa pakar sebab hubs kena balik kl coz weekend dah habis. i`ve stayed in my in law`s place during my pregnancy. yes, the specialist confirmed me that my baby is no longer breathing. im shock but managed to put a smile on my face and act calm. but deep down in my heart, i was screaming, i was devastated. this is my 3rd pregnancy. i`ve been warded and the doctor induced me to 3 times to open up my cervical os so that i can deliver my baby. i didnt feel any pain nor did i had any symptom showing that my baby is no longer breathing inside me. alhamdulillah i managed to delivered my baby and i only experienced the contraction for just 30 minutes. everything went on fast and easy. my little precious was a boy, sudah cukup sifat semua with the size of both of my palm. very cute. me&hubs name him MUHAMMAD. OCT23,2012 was the date to be remember for the rest of our life. alhamdulillah our late babyboy selamat dikebumikan by his own father sebelah makam moyang dia. yes, hubs yg mandikan dia, kafankan dia and kebumikan. he did it with his own hands. i salute hubs dgn ketenangan dia but i still can see the sadness in his eyes. he took 1 week leave just to be with me. and im glad to have all my wonderful families around me, giving me support and making me smile. 

our baby, MUHAMMAD, was too beautiful, was too precious to stay in this world so he return to his creator. we know he`s up there happily beside his creator and waiting for us to join him soon insyallah. MUHAMMAD, wait for mom&dad =).. 

and... a few days ago, me&hubs welcomed another shocking news... yes, we are expecting again. its still fragile, still early. our whole family now is praying for the best for both me&baby. Arwah MUHAMMAD is now going to have a baby brother/baby girl. Alhamdulillah. Rezeki dari Allah. the best gift for us this new year. 

no matter how bad your day is, do believe that there is still a sunshine after.. i do believe coz i have found mine =)

happy reading&have a good day =)